Makenna Rose

I was just sure that our baby girl wasn't going to arrive early. Even the doctor predicted she'd arrive past her due date. But as we all know, babies come according to their own time, and on a chilly winter's eve, February 11, 2013, at 7:07 pm, Makenna Rose Perry made her grand entrance to this world.

This picture was taken by my dad when Makenna's about 14 hours old. She has absolutely stolen our hearts! She was born weighing a whopping 6 lbs 2 oz--such a shock since the doctors told me at 35 weeks she was at 6 lbs and would likely weigh around 8 lbs at birth!! We can't believe what a tiny peanut she is!

Born perfect and beautifully healthy, we went home last Wednesday. If you follow me on Facebook, you already know what happened next. Last Tuesday night I thought I felt it coming on, and by the time we were home Wednesday, there was no denying it: I was getting sick. It hit me so very hard and I'm sure it was exacerbated by the fact that I didn't sleep the entire night prior to labor {birth story will be forthcoming!}.

I became so miserably sick with a nasty, nasty cold and cough. I also felt very weak for many days. It was all I could do to nurse my new baby. And as much as it pained me, I wasn't holding her, snuggling her, or kissing her {you can't even imagine how hard that was!!!}. I was so afraid of her catching my sickness. My cold had me down and out for several days.

Fast forward until today, Makenna's two-week birthday:

I am writing this post from the hospital. We're on our fifth night here. So, as you probably guessed, Makenna caught my sickness. Only it turns out that I had a particular virus: what is really just "the common cold" in adults and older children but is called RSV for babies. And RSV is very dangerous for babies, and can even be fatal.

Matt and I took Makenna to the pediatrician at the first signs of her catching what I've had. They tested her and she came up positive for RSV, so they put her straight into the hospital. I'll be honest with you, I was a blubbering mess. I fell apart in front of the pediatrician when she said, "she's going to need to be admitted to the hospital." And I'm going to say it: I felt like a horrible mother. Because Makenna got sick from me. Yes, I know I can't help that I got sick, and can't help that my best efforts at trying to keep my distance from Makenna failed in keeping her from catching it. It's the most horrible feeling in the world, knowing your precious, tiny, baby girl is dangerously sick and has to be hospitalized. Because of YOU. I know in my head that I haven't failed as a mother, but my heart is still so heavy that all of this has happened. It certainly isn't the start to motherhood that any woman would want. In a way I feel that these first two weeks have been stolen from us, first from my sickness keeping me from enjoying Makenna, and now a five-day hospital stay where Makenna is hooked up to monitors with wires and is constantly being examined.

BUT. Makenna has been doing fabulously. In fact, after the first two days in the hospital, she was doing so brilliantly for a newborn with RSV that they sent us home. But then, as often happens with RSV around day four or so, she took a turn for the worse at night. Her breathing became more labored and we could tell the sickness was in her chest. The following morning, our pediatrician sent us straight back to the hospital. Now we're on night three of this second hospital stay.

Makenna has still been doing great this second stay. In fact, she is just being monitored. That's all. She hasn't needed breathing treatments, to be given oxygen, or an IV--three things all very common with babies hospitalized with RSV. All the doctors and nurses keep saying how great she's doing! She's nursing well, sleeping well, and has been quite content overall. We truly attribute Makenna's resliance against the RSV to all the prayers that have been said on her behalf. We know there have been lots and lots of people all over the world praying for Makenna, and it is truly evident. Matt and I are so infinitely thankful to be lifted up in prayer this way.

So, yes. All of this sucks. I can't even begin to say how much these past two weeks have sucked. Yet they have also been filled with the greatest joy of our lives because we have our beautiful Makenna Rose. She is amazing and perfect and we are so crazy in love with her. And we know just how blessed we are.

Soon, very soon, we'll be home again with our precious little Makenna and all this will be behind us.

I. CAN'T. WAIT.