I don't have to tell you that Matt and I were crazy to move into our first home one month before our due date. And in all that craziness, one of the things that fell to the wayside was locating a photographer to do newborn photos after Makenna's arrival. I actually DID have it on my "to do" list in the days just before Makenna's due date, but she decided to show up a tad early, so there went that plan.
I also must tell you that I even debated on whether or not to get newborn photos done. They are really expensive, you know. And how could I even be sure I'd be happy with them? In light of all the money we've been spending on the house {and the baby!}, we weren't sure it'd be the smartest investment of our money.
And then, as you know well, I got sick immediately after delivery. And then Makenna got sick with RSV and we did the whole hospital-thing. By the time we got home {again} from all that, she was over two weeks old and I still didn't even have a clue what photographer to use.
Enter Bobbi of Bobbi Rattai Photography. She was recommended to us by our close friends. I was very impressed with her website and the newborn photos she posted. The biggest factor was that we were informed she would be willing to come to our house to do the photo session. This was of course essential since we can't bring Makenna out anywhere. And after contacting Bobbi, I learned that her son also contracted RSV {he was just eight weeks old}, so she could totally understand our circumstances. My other huge requirement--one many photographers don't offer--was a CD with a copy of all the images and the rights to print them and use them as we pleased. Bobbi had everything we were looking for.
I received the CD of photos two days ago, and after looking at the first few, my eyes filled with tears of joy! I really can't put into words how beyond pleased we are with these photos. They're better than I'd ever dreamed. Hands down, this was some of the best money we've ever spent!
Oh, and Bobbi? Well, I could sing her praises all day long. She drove nearly two hours to our house, and she was here for a full three hours. And...Makenna even pooped on her! {Bobbi kindly reassured me, in all my horror, that it happens to her all the time at newborn shoots}. You better believe we will be going back to Bobbi for more pictures in the future!
I'm not going to show all the photos, but without further ado, here are my favorites:
Couldn't. Be. Happier.
How does that saying go--two steps forward, and one step back? I had written a couple of months ago about my victory in getting blood work done without passing out. Unfortunately, last week, my problem with passing out decided to show its lovely little face again.
I was in Ohio at my parents' house because I was doing a Silpada party there. I had gotten up and into the shower to get ready to go to a café for breakfast with my parents. While showering, I sat down in the tub to shave my legs. I don't know why I do this--it's just a habit I've had for years.
I was shaving up the outside of my right thigh, and I'm not quite sure what happened. Maybe I bumped my arm or something, but I ended up turning the razor sideways and slicing a good 2 inch cut into my thigh. Ohhhh...it hurt. It was bleeding a lot, but the water was hitting the cut and washing the blood away immediately. I think it was the sharp, stinging pain that bothered me the most...again, psychological.
I felt it coming. I knew I was going to pass out. I figured I'd just sit there and let it happen because I didn't have anywhere where I could fall over and hurt myself. The next thing I knew, I woke up with that feeling; feeling like I'd just been sleeping deeply for a week. I remember thinking, "Why did I decide to sleep in the shower?" I was thinking how stupid that was of me, when I started to slowly gain my bearings. I know when I woke up I was slumped over on the shower curtain and I think the water hitting my face was what woke me up.
I have a theory now about what happens after I wake up from passing out. It seems that when I pass out and wake up on my own, I'm feeling OK. It's been that way every time I've woken up naturally. But when I have been woken up from my passed-out state, usually from someone reviving me, I immediately break into a cold sweat, get really nauseated, and soon after, get sick to my stomach. I believe this time the water from the shower woke me up sooner than I would have naturally woken up, and therefore my body reacted in this pattern. Luckily I was able to make it out of the tub and to the toilet in time (sorry if that's too much info for you).
Like I had mentioned before, I hadn't passed out in over two years, since the time when I lived alone. Matt joked with me that he thinks I'm making it up about these passing out episodes, since he has yet to witness one.
I've tried to keep the faith that I will get over this problem. I have to. I do believe I've made progress, but I've still got a long ways to go with conquering my psychological issues that make me pass out like that. Argh.
Well, at least one thing I can say, is that I'm a pretty unique girl, huh? :)
Yesterday I reached a great milestone in my life. It is probably very silly to most people, but to me, it's huge. Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I had my blood drawn without passing out.
I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But passing out has become a very unwelcome part of my life over the past ten years or so. It has become a psychological problem for me, to the extent that even intense anxiety could cause me to pass out.
But passing out doesn't seem so bad, right? Well, it isn't....for normal people. When normal people pass out, they go limp and fall over, then just lie there. Not me. Ooohh no. I am very special when it comes to passing out. I am part of a minority of the public that when passed out, we appear as if we're having a seizure. Yes--I jerk around, stiffen body parts, and best of all, make this really unattractive sound out of my throat. My mouth hangs wide open and others have told me it sounds like I'm snoring.
Even with all of that, passing out in general is not a pleasant experience. Just before passing out, I know it's coming. The room closes in and slowly goes darker and darker. Then...nothing. When I wake up after passing out, I feel as though I'm waking from the deepest sleep of my life. I open my eyes and the room comes to focus slowly, while all other noises seem like murmurs in the background. It is the most confusing feeling, thinking, "Where am I? What is going on? Why am I lying on the floor?" The realization of what has just occurred hits me about sixty seconds after waking up.
The passing out episodes began when I was fifteen and had my blood drawn for the first time. Then I passed out in high school while getting first aid certified in one of my classes. We were watching a video on how to take care of wounds. The video was in the middle of showing a girl with a huge hunk of glass sticking out of her bloody arm and how to wrap bandages around it, when...BOOM. I was gone . Of course this event was humiliating, given the "special" way in which I pass out. Every other time I've had to get my blood drawn, I've passed out, and my mom would then pull the car up while the nurse wheeled me out in a wheelchair. Awesome.
As it progressed and became more psychological, I passed out a few times when sitting by the toilet, feeling like I was about to be ill. Throwing up has always been a phobia of mine, and just sitting there thinking about it, I'd psych myself up so much that I'd end up passing out. Then there's the time I passed out IN A MOVIE THEATRE while watching a little boy's arm being amputated. Once again...making an idiot of myself in public. The last time I passed out, I was fortunate---I was living alone in my rented house when I sliced my finger open on the inside of a pop can. I could sense that I was about to pass out and layed down on my bed just in time. But when I woke up and went to the bathroom to clean and bandage my finger...it happened again. I woke up this time on the bathroom floor of my very tiny bathroom, my head just inches from the toilet and the shower. God was watching over me on that one.
Before I went in to do my blood work yesterday, I took a prescription (ativan) my doctor gave me to help me relax during the procedure. I could definitely feel it working. Matt came with me, as clearly I've never been able to get behind the wheel after passing out. I warned the nurse of everything she could expect and told her I'd never had blood drawn and not passed out. She was so kind...just the nurse I'd prayed for! She had me lying down and she even had to poke me twice before getting my blood. Matt squeezed my feet (at my request). I never even felt I was in the beginning stages of passing out. The nurse let me stay lying down for a few minutes, then sit up slowly and stay there for another moment, then swing my legs off the table and stay like that for several more moments. I think the meds helped the most, but I had a feeling that somehow this was going to be my first "victory," so to speak. I even hugged the nurse!
Matt was a little disappointed that he didn't witness my jerking, stiffening of the limbs, and noises he's always heard about. He credits my not passing out to him being there! I feel so optimistic now about my ability to get over this psychological nonsense. How could I go through pregnancy/childbirth, or take care of my injured children with this problem!? I feel very hopeful that yesterday was the beginning of the end of my journey with painfully embarrassing passing out episodes.
